simply... stunned

It never fails...When you see a southern person on T.V. or hear them on the radio, the old clichés come barreling right out. Southern draw, little on the "slow side", and "THAT THERE TORNADO SOUNDED LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN COMIN RIGHT FER US". Well, today another southern blunder ... and a BIG one at that.


I am a school counselor at two, small, rural K-12 schools. I primarily work with elementary students, but I do see the occasional high school student who thinks their life is ending because of a zit or bad break up. All jokes aside though, these kids do face a lot more CRAP than they ever should in their short 6-17 years of existence. Due to this CRAP, school counselors were born. 


Today I am sitting at my desk at one of my schools. I was checking my email at the the end of the day like normal and get this message from my mother-in-law (teacher at the other school I work at)... 


   "Have you heard about your office? A parent fell through your floor today."


You can imagine my face after reading those two simple sentences. You see, our school system has been hurting for money for YEARS. Proration is a common word around these parts. I think it's been adopted as a spelling word for 4th grade. Well, with proration equalling LACK of funds, naturally my floor in my office has been left with a nice, exposed hole next to my desk. I usually cover it with a chair to remind myself it's there so I don't step on it. If stepped on, one would probably end up in the "dungeon". What is the dungeon?..it's the basement below filled with old desks, junk no one wants and probably spiders, snakes and other animals no one cares to see.  So as I read those two simple sentences, I picture in my head a caring parent coming to find help for her sweet and innocent kid who needs just a little encouragement to bring that "B" up to that "A" (insert big laugh right here...). I quickly call the school to find out what has happened and to make sure everyone is ok. 


I'm sitting on the nurses couch (probably filled with unimaginable germs) listening to the story from none other than one of the school secretaries (they ALWAYS know EVERYTHING that happens in a school). I find out the parent was on the campus without permission, walking around in my office for some unknown reason and then magically falls through the exposed hole next to my desk. I lean back on the couch (probably getting lice by now), and imagine FOX 6 interviewing this lady....
"I was mindin my oooown business...when WHAM, the floor just opened up and swallowed me whole! Somebody left that dern hole on purpose! Some say it sounded like a FREIGHT TRAIN coming to get me..."


Where are we now, the parent is now claiming her leg hurts and it needs to be checked by a doctor. OF COURSE. And... they want US to pay for it. NATURALLY. Typical I guess... and should be expected... why am I surprised?


Simply southern for sure. Random lady randomly falls through the floor... 
What an end to a simple school day in rural Alabama.